the novemberist.

For everyone sending messages, I managed to make it out of Tuscaloosa late this afternoon. Thank you so much for your care and concern.

There are currently 194 confirmed deaths in Alabama in the past 24 hours. 

I’ll post more updates/pictures later. 

Thankfully, no one from my hometown was injured. 

Please keep us in your prayers.

Also, please support the sisters in Phi Mu of the Alpha Zeta Chapter at the University of Alabama by going to the Ashley Harrison Shelter page and liking it. 

Listening: I’m breaking out my Island Tunes summer playlist (be on the lookout for this post, coming soon). This golden nugget contains all of the summer classics from Jimmy Buffett, The Eagles, Bob Marley and, of course, The Beach Boys.

Loving: Anything Rhode Island. I’m talking Newport Beach, those world famous lobster rolls, lighthouses galore, and of course all of those glorious sail boats that grace the waves all summer long.

Watching: Water For Elephants. Newly released and newly obsessed. Also, I refreshed my cinematic memory with a classic throwback: Titanic. Two very beautiful films, which happen to include two very beautiful men. Leo, with his classic boyish charm never ceases to make my heart melt. And Rob Pattinson, with his 1920s wardrobe and crew cut that had me swooning the full 115 minutes.

*Also, I’m currently obsessed with watching anything dealing with The Royal Wedding. Shocker, I know.

Wearing: Two words: stacked. bracelets. Of any and every kind. (but my favorite right now is the tribal trend) Exhibit A. See also: Exhibit B. This just screams summer fun.

in the summer.

I’m not sure why it’s taken me this long to get here, but here I am. Maybe because for the past few months, I’ve been wrestling with this urge that I haven’t quite been able to put my finger on. For a while now, I’ve been witness to a slow and gradual change of nature. Suddenly, it’s Spring and everything is green and the air is filled with sweet smelling aroma of flowers blooming. The quirrels are scurrying around, frantically burying nuts and supplies. Everything in nature has turned over a new leaf. Literally.

Inevitably, I know that it’s time for me to turn over a new leaf as well. I can’t explain it, but the older I get, I realize that times come in your life when you just know that change is headed your way. Not necessarily a good change or a bad one. But a change nonetheless.

And when that time comes, you know that whether you like it or not, change will happen. Just like nature. A new season comes, and without asking permission, everything changes on its own with no time to contemplate or hesitate. It just happens.

I don’t know what to expect, but I do know that I’ve got to stop being so negative. An overwhelming desire to complain has overtaken me. I have zero motivation. I find excuses for everything. I complain, yet do nothing to attempt to improve my circumstances. I’ve lost sight of my priorities. I’ve developed a selfish and self-serving attitude.

I must learn how to break this urge of self-will and let God take the reigns. I need to stop trying to find fulfillment in worldly things. I need to learn the true definition of what it means to be humble. I need a stronger filter on the things I let influence me. I need to awaken my soul to what God has to say.

While having a flat out breakdown on the phone with my dad earlier, he gave me some really good advice. He told me that, sometimes, life gets in the way and you lose sight of what’s important to you. But you have to ask yourself, “Is this really worth it?” You’ve got to made a decision to be self-serving or self-less, and then live with the decision you make. It’s not easy, but it’s something you have to deal with on a daily basis. 

So, today, I’m taking the time to admit all of the things I struggle with, and realize that I need to put others ahead of myself. I need to turn over a new leaf and accept the inevitable changes that are life. I need to put aside thoughts of nostalgia and worries of the future. I need to put aside my selfish manner of doing things.

I need a change. And I need to embrace it.